Grieving...

  1. Is a process, not an event.  Each journey is different: wherever you are is exactly where you are supposed to be. There is no timetable, no set schedule to follow.
  2. Feelings are not good or bad, they help us navigate the journey. Please don’t judge yourself because you do not feel the way you think you should – there is no right or wrong way to feel.
  3. A Grieving person may experience a number of feelings in the same day.  They may range from acute sadness to anger, guilt or intense frustration. (See #2 above.)
  4. There is no “correct” or “normal” way to grieve; be gentle with yourself.
  5. People are willing to support your journey; allow them to help and love you as you move along.
  6. In an effort to be helpful, people may offer suggestions about what would be “helpful”.  You are the best judge of what you need, especially early in your grief.  Some people like to be alone, others like to have people around – you know what feels right to you. Whatever that may be is just fine! 

Supporting Others who are Grieving

Each Grief Journey is different, it is not helpful to impose our timeline on others.

We cannot “fix” or lessen another person’s grief.  Grief is very painful, we can be most helpful if we allow others to cry or talk about how they feel. We are not supportive when we try to change the subject, or drop eye contact because these feelings make us feel uncomfortable.

Offer to do specific tasks.  Often people who are grieving do not know what to ask for, they may not know where to begin when everything has changed. We can offer to pick up the dry cleaning, walk/feed the dog, take someone to an appointment etc.  Be sure to ask first, what we mean as helpful may feel like intruding to another person.

As time goes by, invite your loved one or friend to do something outside of the house.  If the invite is declined, don’t give up, maybe it just isn’t a good day – the next invitation for the outing might be the perfect timing!
For more information contact Nita Ausbon, nausbon@yahoo.com